Strange I don't weigh in someone loving me so deeply as I share with them my life outside of themselves, another sadness comes as a circle of life revolves for their declaration of love and passion for me is besides that of my own ponderings elsewhere.

Oh lord must you know me over the head with illness to settle me into being enough for myself and turning my passions inward to my word, at a deeper level to serve only you?

My dearest friend mr J - thank u for being there to receive my ponderings-- and share my spicey food.

Maybe I should ground myself in seminary- in a schooling comunity? Ur right about a lot of things --- one most and foremost which makes me draw into a heartfelt sadness is I have work to do in balancing my personal passion and excitement with that the world outside the one I actually live In can receive.... and I need to go forth with all my good outgoing- and seek almost to reach out for nothing... what I receive will be "thy will" amen -k