H
Don't feel badly that you are not perfect. You are not and will not be until the 
final day. 

Makes me cry... I just have some sadness and grief to get out, the sadness comes 
when I let the words into me, when I let them tear apart what I hold holy, which 
is everything which I have lived til this moment when this is all I got, what is 
infront of me....

And its sad, cause there is someone out there attacking my life, life david and 
goleith, david is soft and singing psalms to god and  goleith is big and mean 
and well versed in fight and attack.

I feel the tears are also the silence and tearing open of a deeper heart to 
listen with and feel the presence of god which is just too much to hold without 
emotion......

Truly a blessin in the tears as they clear me towards  peace

Its a true love I enter, I make room for,  from what was, selfless, and seeking 
only the good in others, self giving, self sacrificing, a dying to self, are 
within the tears, 

Love is giving, and I hear so strongly how god so loved  the world he gave his 
only son, and Jesus loved the world so, he gave his life, and he wants us to 
love as he loved, giving and giving until it hurts....or and until I can
Sa

"Forgive him, he knows not what he does."

 and believe..