Personal Goals after Eight Months as a Hospital Chaplain-Reviewed

.I speak on personal goals and picked out three dimensions of maturation including; Focus on particulars towards principles....

I release the need for these to be particulars that belong to any principles as I release the need for there to be any right or wrong in healing. I wrote that in my learning contract and I have learned this unit that today I say that, from the window sill besides the B bed. I have come to learn during this unit that releasing rights of healing some in many forms. 

I have seen it come in spiritual forms, as to the depths patients have reached inside in prayer and their hope in its healing, and I have seen new awareness’s that I never would have included in the healing process which involves :  the location of the beds in a double room, someone’s roommate, whether the rooms is right outside the nurses station  and the patient cannot sleep, or on the corner of the hallway and feel isolated and alone,, whether it’s an isolation room  and do others not enter as often because of the gown and gloves routine and therefore have less visitors or its straight in front of all the beeping and lights in front of the receptionist and you’re in the A bed. Awake 24/7.

 There is an always an uncertainly to what is going on, whether you are waiting to be released and you thought it was going to be at 9am and its 2pm or you haven’t gotten the tests back on whether you have an opera table or inoperable cancer. I could not have known the understanding of the dimensions of maturation in Pastoral Care in the Hospital Rooms when I wrote my learning contract and I hope to continue to deepen into understanding them and how they relate to me in my pastoral formation as well as me in relationship.

I wrote in my learning contract from a need for certainty towards a tolerance for ambiguity.

I release the need to label tolerance as a way to be. as I accept humility and I have learned that there is a lot

More to accept than just what I can even know is going on for another person and I want to be all there in that moment too.

I have read the book of Job, several hundred times and I am still forever studying Thomas Aquinas’ work on chapters 38 onward, God resolves the Question. What can Man understand? When I wrote in my learning contract from quotations in imitations towards originality, I was making reference to quoting my religious in such a way that I would be able to relieve suffering in sharing hope through prayer. This unit has also taught me, the first lesson in the book of job< chapter 38, “what can man understand.” ‘’

My Personal goals, in my learning contract, while they are beautiful statement and guidelines from the CPE student Manual, I feel into them quite differently now after this first unit. I have not been able to enter a hospital room and quote “Book of Job” but I have been able to hold their understandings more than quote the actual words:

“”To whom will he reach knowledge, and whom will be make understand what has been heard (28:8)

“God certainly does not question to learn, but to convenience man of his ignorance

During this unit, I have opened to my understanding of I cannot know. I have seen how when I entered the program, I was so tight in the gospels and psalms as the true and only light for me and the books of the Gita have really opened a door which bring me to the same place. My work with Hindi patients, where I have joined them to speak about their loved one who died being in a batter place. Speaking about their loved one who could not suffer any more. This has expanded for me to see the experience through the eyes and foundations of beliefs of Hindu patients and therefore I have learned to speak thought the words of the Gita and the references to Arjun a addressing Sri Krishna. 

My personal Goal is to continue my work with Thomas Aquinas and the Book of Job denotations as work and real more deeply into the Gita and its various versions

I also want to include, in my personal goal the ability to speak clearly for myself, articulate my spiritual and religious experiences, and my willingness to open and discuss pertinent and personal life events and relationships that bring me into a heart space and connection and prayer in the hospital rooms... 

I can say, without any doubt, that whether stepping into another boat through reflection and deepening or sending a full on tanker into the center of process group for us all to open to, personally,  I might have exceeded my initial expectations, but not my capabilities...