Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Prayer

I light a candle and I prayer
Oh lord to be in u today

There's good and love and life around
Show me my heart
Make it abound

There's kids and light that will shine one day
Rain now on me so I can pray.....

Oh lord, show me the way
Show me how to be my best today

I silence and I seek only you
Fill me with all that's true .......

Amen !

Monday, April 28, 2014

E.Holmes

Ernest holmes

Hope cannot die
Eternal hope is forever warm and fresh within me
The deathless
Hope built upon the rock of sure knowledge
O hope sublime, o life supreme,behold I come to three as a tired child, and  
thou dost rekindle within me the fires of faith..
Strong, swift and sure, faith springs forth into action, and my entire being 
rises to meet the dawn

Personal Goals after Eight Months as a Hospital Chaplain-Reviewed

.I speak on personal goals and picked out three dimensions of maturation including; Focus on particulars towards principles....
 
I release the need for these to be particulars that belong to any principles as I release the need for there to be any right or wrong in healing. I wrote that in my learning contract and I have learned this unit that today I say that, from the window sill besides the B bed. I have come to learn during this unit that releasing rights of healing some in many forms. 
I have seen it come in spiritual forms, as to the depths patients have reached inside in prayer and their hope in its healing, and I have seen new awareness’s that I never would have included in the healing process which involves :  the location of the beds in a double room, someone’s roommate, whether the rooms is right outside the nurses station  and the patient cannot sleep, or on the corner of the hallway and feel isolated and alone,, whether it’s an isolation room  and do others not enter as often because of the gown and gloves routine and therefore have less visitors or its straight in front of all the beeping and lights in front of the receptionist and you’re in the A bed. Awake 24/7.
 
 There is an always an uncertainly to what is going on, whether you are waiting to be released and you thought it was going to be at 9am and its 2pm or you haven’t gotten the tests back on whether you have an opera table or inoperable cancer. I could not have known the understanding of the dimensions of maturation in Pastoral Care in the Hospital Rooms when I wrote my learning contract and I hope to continue to deepen into understanding them and how they relate to me in my pastoral formation as well as me in relationship.
 
I wrote in my learning contract from a need for certainty towards a tolerance for ambiguity.
I release the need to label tolerance as a way to be. as I accept humility and I have learned that there is a lot
More to accept than just what I can even know is going on for another person and I want to be all there in that moment too.
 
I have read the book of Job, several hundred times and I am still forever studying Thomas Aquinas’ work on chapters 38 onward, God resolves the Question. What can Man understand? When I wrote in my learning contract from quotations in imitations towards originality, I was making reference to quoting my religious in such a way that I would be able to relieve suffering in sharing hope through prayer. This unit has also taught me, the first lesson in the book of job< chapter 38, “what can man understand.” ‘’
 
My Personal goals, in my learning contract, while they are beautiful statement and guidelines from the CPE student Manual, I feel into them quite differently now after this first unit. I have not been able to enter a hospital room and quote “Book of Job” but I have been able to hold their understandings more than quote the actual words:
 
“”To whom will he reach knowledge, and whom will be make understand what has been heard (28:8)
“God certainly does not question to learn, but to convenience man of his ignorance
 
During this unit, I have opened to my understanding of I cannot know. I have seen how when I entered the program, I was so tight in the gospels and psalms as the true and only light for me and the books of the Gita have really opened a door which bring me to the same place. My work with Hindi patients, where I have joined them to speak about their loved one who died being in a batter place. Speaking about their loved one who could not suffer any more. This has expanded for me to see the experience through the eyes and foundations of beliefs of Hindu patients and therefore I have learned to speak thought the words of the Gita and the references to Arjun a addressing Sri Krishna. 
 
My personal Goal is to continue my work with Thomas Aquinas and the Book of Job denotations as work and real more deeply into the Gita and its various versions
 
I also want to include, in my personal goal the ability to speak clearly for myself, articulate my spiritual and religious experiences, and my willingness to open and discuss pertinent and personal life events and relationships that bring me into a heart space and connection and prayer in the hospital rooms... 
 
I can say, without any doubt, that whether stepping into another boat through reflection and deepening or sending a full on tanker into the center of process group for us all to open to, personally,  I might have exceeded my initial expectations, but not my capabilities...
 

self


   Self
In this Unit of CPE and in the area of self-development, I see a absolutely new found voice to speak about my religious beliefs, and formation, without a doubt. Jesus, Christ Crucified, my Theology Paper on suffering, my beliefs if I can live today in peace and love and gods service in my hands and the words of Christ on my tongue, if I believe Christ already died for our sins, how myself and ongoing goals and development include these beliefs and how that makes me a spiritual care giver, in knowing that there is sickness and they is pain and I am able to accept what is present in the moment, as every moment we are living in our beliefs we are living a blessing.    
I understand if I'm going to Stand in the relief of suffering then I must strongly and truly stand in the unknowing any single way or belief that the relief of suffering has an answer that I know.

Still grounded in my faith ! I can continue in my unwavering beliefs....that It has an answer, and each one is different and each one of us sees and feels its relief just a but differently, we are all but our own souls,. Manifesting as
Center stage in our own life’s, as we are all another reflection of gods image we cannot know the number or the grandness or greatness of this as a system Meta to it..As a.  Pastor, each person I meet has their own unique way of sharing this,

And I know none better, but my own!

and what when we return to work?

And I gotta admit that I'm half the problem, as I'm half the equation so I'm 
open enough to have acknowledged when babies stopped coming from my body, and I 
wasn't going back to work with young six kids, there was a growing complaint  as 
they started growing  up that all I did was spend money and travel ...but when 
the time came, and I could do something else except care for my kids with the 
money we had and take them around the world in travel through  exploration, when 
I could  open to the gift of love with all of the kids  in school, (during school hours) open to  giving it back to service and to community, 
I feel it completely rejected .......
Spoken about poorly......
as if the work of service is meaningless cause
i am  not caring for my kids or bringing in an income?
hmmmm

stance-kmg

"
I understand if I'm going to
Stand in the relief of suffering then
I must strongly and truly stand in the unknowing any  single way or belief that 
the relief of suffering has an answer that I know.


Still grounded in my faith !
I can continue in my unwavering beliefs....that

It has an answer, and each one is different and each one of us sees and feels 
its relief  just a but differently,we are all but our own souls,.manifesting as 
center stage in our own lifes,  as we are all another reflection of  gods image 
we can not know the number or the grandness or greatness of this as a system 
meta to it...

As a.  pastor,  each person I meet has their own unique way of sharing this , 
and I know none better, but my own !

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Quote

Ernest holmes

Hope cannot die
Eternal hope is forever warm and fresh within me
The deathless
Hope built upon the rock of sure knowledge
O hope sublime, o life supreme,behold I come to three as a tired child, and  
thou dost rekindle within me the fires of faith..
Strong, swift and sure, faith springs forth into action, and my entire being 
rises to meet the dawn

Friday, April 18, 2014

Gita-illusions


I feel the bahavagita is a book about loving thy neighbor in all the forms
presented , and some might be of family u have to slain on the battelfield and
others of demons or dietites that you must befriend... All illusions ?

KMG 2014

Oh the clouds move ever so slowly and how I miss the sunrise, let me see the 
sunrise in my passion, let the squint of my eyes taste the light, full me with 
your glory, show me the way......
For the treasure is what I can. Receive of you in this moment, for that's all 
that will build on and remain......

Amen !

-k

Grief

Its really ok to let grief just be there, hiding, behind the veil of the moments 
in time that need to just be...

Sometimes I think it quortorized the edges of griefs stain and contains it, 
...there, over there is grief, ill come visit.....

Does it visit you? Does it come out at night ? Does it call into your thoughts 
and say, here I am ?


And I think to  share rilke--

"You, darkness from which I come, I love you more than the flame that bounds the 
world.
Shining
In a single ring
Beyond which no creature knows of it.

But the darkness seizes everything
Folds and flames
How  it grasps them
People and powers....
And it Is possible that a great strength stirs in my neighborhood

- with the loss and rebirth...

-k

Poem on loss

On loss 

Would it be enough to include the death into my life, as isn't my mother 
included in my life and there the cycles of it....

 I think of my time ,  but a stain on the fabric greater than which  I can know 
and yet there is a knowing that the stain I expand, to include all that is, 
today,  will be part of something greater  I can see or feel or fit into 
something,  more everlasting, peace on earth, something inclusive ?

This thought washes away desire of anything I can know or have or want and 
hermits me into my heart of giving, .....until I can just give again, from this 
place, unencumbered and that giving includes the loss......

-kmg 2014

Poem me and rilke

From the chaos that wants to grab me, it wants to say, no this way, be here in 
the swirling of ego and distracting, for is there a power of burdening that 
raises up in praise as we gather together as one heart....

And if the chaos did not ever overcome, would the balances of himan life cease 
to exist as one heart. Rings the globe spinning in eternal praise, and what does 
that look like, life, sex, entwinded in nature, release, song, love ? Are so 
loved so in this god thatwe just are this moment and weave as many as we can in 
a sitting.....

"I have hymns that I hold silently there's an integrity deep in me
In which I bow my senses down
You regard me as tall, but I'm small 
You distonguish me in the dark
From things that kneel'"
(Rilke fits in so perfectly there amongst my prose.)

-k

Poem

All who busy their hands
Not in time, in the city
All who lay them on what is quiet
In a place far from city  streets
Or paths that hardly have a name anymore, but are arrived over and over again by 
mear pulling of a familiar direction to be...
These give voice to you, your faily blessing and utter softly upon a page...
Finally there are only prayers
Our hands consecrated for this
And have done nothing but implore, 

Then will I hold and be held
For time has many forms now and then we hear about it
And do what is eternal and old

-k

Poem

My prime of youth is but a frost of cares
My feast of joy is but a dish of pain
My  crop of corn is but a field of tares and all my good is but vain hope of 
gain
The day is past and yet I saw no sun
And now I live and now my life is done

My tale was heard and yet it was not told
My fruit is fallen and yet my leaves are green
My youth is spent and yet I am not old
I saw the world and yet I was not seen
My thread is cut and yet it is not spun
And now I live and now my life is done

I sought my death and found it in my womb
I looked for life and saw it was a shade
I trod the earth and knew it was my tomb
And now I die and now I was but made
My glass is full and now  my glass is run
And now I live and now my life is done 


######
Written by a young man
In 1586 before he was beheaded tichborne....

Good Friday Prayer

“When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.”  With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”
        John 19:30
 
Prayer
  Great God, with those three words You confirmed to us that our salvation is not based on anything that we do, but on the completed work of the cross.  You have paid the price that we could not pay.  Now give us the confidence to
have you live your life through us.
show me the way, is that completed work to include the pain you already endured, cam we hold that pain with in and 
offer the relief of suffering and sickness as you have done with those words you speak
your faith has made you well.

Today, believe, your faith has made you well.
 Amen

Sunday, April 13, 2014

gita prose



I feel the bahavagita  is a book about loving thy neighbor in all the forms 
presented , and some might be of family u have to slain on the battlefield   and 
others of demons or dietites  that you must befriend...  All illusions ?
 

Poem kmg 2014

Oh the clouds move ever so slowly and how I miss the sunrise, let me see the 
sunrise in my passion, let the squint of my eyes taste the light, full me with 
your glory, show me the way......
For the treasure is what I can. Receive of you in this moment, for that's all 
that will build on and remain......

Amen !

-k

Grief quotes- plus rilke poem

Its really ok to let grief just be there, hiding, behind the veil of the moments 
in time that need to just be...

Sometimes I think it quortorized the edges of griefs stain and contains it, 
...there, over there is grief, ill come visit.....

Does it visit you? Does it come out at night ? Does it call into your thoughts 
and say, here I am ?


And I think to  share rilke--

"You, darkness from which I come, I love you more than the flame that bounds the 
world.
Shining
In a single ring
Beyond which no creature knows of it.

But the darkness seizes everything
Folds and flames
How  it grasps them
People and powers....
And it Is possible that a great strength stirs in my neighborhood

- with the loss and rebirth...

-k

Prose kmg 2014

It would be enough, I think my time is but a stain on the fabric greater than 
what I can know and yet there is a knowing that the stain I expand today will be 
part of how great I can see or feel or fit into something more everlasting....

This thought washes away desire of anything I can know or have or want and 
hermits me into my heart of giving, .....until I can just give again, from this 
place, unencumbered.....

Friday, April 11, 2014

prose

There is much to be grateful for, I enter silence and prayer not in or out of 
grateful, but just to quiet my mind.....

Its in the quieting  that you can hear, an inner hearing, for I already know 
what I come to the table with, its what I don't know that is wiser than who I 
am, its what my mind can't mix up by only the experiences I have only to 
measure.........

Prose



I feel peaceful and I can only bring emotion of gratitude and peace for this, as 
the gift, god answers out prayers thru the joy be returns when he shines down 
and hears our praise, our souls must all be praising god so he can feel in the 
enormity of what god is, all........