spiritual and theological reflection on my hospital paper this week

THEOLOGICAL RELFECTON

The theology I would like to share is the presence of god and the presence of light in a parrell. I have a strong belief that as the sun rises today, I see it in all its glory. The reflection of llight everywhere, in the hospital rooms, in my open heart of the morning. Ever flowing light rays shine on from this beautiful sun and I see it, even when the clouds are thick and the rain hovers above, I see this light as it is always there. It  is always rising somewhere , it is always beyond the clouds, it is always EXISTING. Even if you don’t see the actual light. It is a sort of heaven on earth, in every moment whether you see it or not, it is there. This in a large part guides my believe and feeling of gods presence within me and the work that I am drawn gratefully towards,

The theological reflections of this specific verbatim with CR leads me to the place of connecting light and healing. The internet is resourceful  as it mixes translations:

English Standard Version
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.

New American Standard Bible 
"Then your light will break out like the dawn, And your recovery will speedily spring forth; And your righteousness will go before you; The glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

King James Bible
Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the LORD shall be thy rereward.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
Then your light will appear like the dawn, and your recovery will come quickly. Your righteousness will go before you, and the LORD's glory will be your rear guard. 

International Standard Version
"Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will spring up quickly; and your vindication will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will guard your back.

Light and healing as theme here .

SPIRITUAL REFLECTIONS

Spiritually I interpret this visit in a sort of New Age healing. While the patient is jewish and in a lot of pain, I don’t believe singing, pastoral witnessing, leaving, would have brought on the best care. She was truly in pain and I believe I needed to align with her pain in understanding and offer her what I knew how in relief, and she could have  turned it down and said come back later and that would have been ok too. This 71 year old woman was open to the spiritual New Age Sound of a guided meditation to relieve pain. After she knew we were from two different faith traditions and after she access that she wasn’t up for a talking visit.

I believe god comes through me in a sort of way as in the teaching of the bible. We are all gods,

And when you open your mouth worry not what you will say for the words will be given to you in the time that you need to say them  matthew 16-20 kj version

( take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. 20For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.)

poem

Looking for Each Other

By Thich Nhat Hanh
(1929 - )

 

I have been looking for you, World Honored One,
since I was a little child.
With my first breath, I heard your call,
and began to look for you, Blessed One.
I've walked so many perilous paths,
confronted so many dangers,
endured despair, fear, hopes, and memories.
I've trekked to the farthest regions, immense and wild,
sailed the vast oceans,
traversed the highest summits, lost among the clouds.
I've lain dead, utterly alone,
on the sands of ancient deserts.
I've held in my heart so many tears of stone.

Blessed One, I've dreamed of drinking dewdrops
that sparkle with the light of far-off galaxies.
I've left footprints on celestial mountains
and screamed from the depths of Avici Hell, exhausted, crazed with despair
because I was so hungry, so thirsty.
For millions of lifetimes,
I've longed to see you,
but didn't know where to look.
Yet, I've always felt your presence with a mysterious certainty.

I know that for thousands of lifetimes,
you and I have been one,
and the distance between us is only a flash of thought.
Just yesterday while walking alone,
I saw the old path strewn with Autumn leaves,
and the brilliant moon, hanging over the gate,
suddenly appeared like the image of an old friend.
And all the stars confirmed that you were there!
All night, the rain of compassion continued to fall,
while lightning flashed through my window
and a great storm arose,
as if Earth and Sky were in battle.
Finally in me the rain stopped, the clouds parted.
The moon returned,
shining peacefully, calming Earth and Sky.
Looking into the mirror of the moon, suddenly
I saw myself,
and I saw you smiling, Blessed One.
How strange!

The moon of freedom has returned to me,
everything I thought I had lost.
From that moment on,
and in each moment that followed,
I saw that nothing had gone.
There is nothing that should be restored.
Every flower, every stone, and every leaf recognize me.
Wherever I turn, I see you smiling
the smile of no-birth and no-death.
The smile I received while looking at the mirror of the moon.
I see you sitting there, solid as Mount Meru,
calm as my own breath,
sitting as though no raging fire storm ever occurred,
sitting in complete peace and freedom.
At last I have found you, Blessed One,
and I have found myself.
There I sit.

The deep blue sky,
the snow-capped mountains painted against the horizon,
and the shining red sun sing with joy.
You, Blessed One, are my first love.
The love that is always present, always pure, and freshly new.
And I shall never need a love that will be called "last."
You are the source of well-being flowing through numberless troubled lives,
the water from your spiritual stream always pure, as it was in the beginning.
You are the source of peace,
solidity, and inner freedom.
You are the Buddha, the Tathagata.
With my one-pointed mind
I vow to nourish your solidity and freedom in myself
so I can offer solidity and freedom to countless others,
now and forever.

poem

Annunciation
by Marie Howe

Even if I don’t see it again — nor ever feel it
I know it is — and that if once it hailed me
it ever does–

and so it is myself I want to turn in that direction
not as toward a place, but it was a tilting
within myself,

as one turns a mirror to flash the light to where
it isn’t — I was blinded like that — and swam
in what shone at me

only able to endure it by being no one and so
specifically myself I thought I’d die
from being loved like that.

prose

There is no god in the moment that hold on so tightly to the house.... The 
gospels say save up not possessions on earth....and there is no god in 'my ego 
mind" thinking it the world around me explodes again, ill call everyone home and 
there is one.......

In essence ,  its the science of the matter not even existing.

What will be will be !!! It changes so often who am I to live in it, should I 
change so often when my life is but this moment ,

Next month I could, like all I work with in the hospital, get a diagnosis. Then 
what would I be holding on to ?

What feeds needs so strongly in the moment ? Fear ?

And as I work on myself isn't there too some pride, some honor, some respect I 
need a sliver of or should I need for nothing.....

I pray
Show me the way !

Prayer

I stand at the edge of the dock and I look 
What I see I feel
As words have expressions

They open, me, as christ fills my heart and I look and feel and my face  
breathes in a the emotion of grateful and I hear "peace I give to my, my peace I 
leave you.....

And there is desire-- as I have wants and give mes and fears, 

And I silence to them all, their story its always changing and my heart is 
always here.

Oh lord come to my assistance, have mercy on my soul.....is my prayer

-k

Post Poem

On Waking

By John O'Donohue
(1956 - 2008)

 

I give thanks for arriving
Safely in a new dawn,
For the gift of eyes
To see the world,
The gift of mind
To feel at home
In my life,
The waves of possibility
Breaking on the shore of dawn,
The harvest of the past
That awaits my hunger,
And all the furtherings
This new day will bring.

Poem kmg

The stillness of the morning overtaken me and. I sink into the blurred visions 
across the lake and not the house I am in

Reflection change as a moving wind lowly flips the reflection, like the way ur 
hand moves a fabrics up and down and it changes color....

Stillness knows also the duck who makes not a sound as its barely noticed, does 
the lake know the duck is on it, am I knowing for the lake and as much a part of 
nature in witness

Heaven on earth, is it a witness as christ fills us to be him ....

Lord, I pray I forgot everyday ur blessings so I may receive them again, for I 
was lost and now I'm found......

Amen

poem by kmg[

"Wrapped in the branches

They wind around me and a bouquet of wisteria shawdows the bench,

 the landing
whose colors bring their own light Leaves falling , falling, the birds wait their turn to pass They sing the winds song whose colors
warm my heart

QUOTE

The atmosphere in the room was transformed. In the man's fury we had experienced 
our own furies; we had seen the world as through a bomb bay. In Nhat Hanh's 
response we had experienced an alternate possibility: the possibility  of 
overcoming hatred with love, of breaking the seemingly endless chain reaction of 
violence throughout human history.

POEM Thich Nhat Hanh

Looking for Each Other By Thich Nhat Hanh (1929 - ) I have been looking for you, World Honored One, since I was a little child. With my first breath, I heard your call, and began to look for you, Blessed One. I've walked so many perilous paths, confronted so many dangers, endured despair, fear, hopes, and memories. I've trekked to the farthest regions, immense and wild, sailed the vast oceans, traversed the highest summits, lost among the clouds. I've lain dead, utterly alone, on the sands of ancient deserts. I've held in my heart so many tears of stone. Blessed One, I've dreamed of drinking dewdrops that sparkle with the light of far-off galaxies. I've left footprints on celestial mountains and screamed from the depths of Avici Hell, exhausted, crazed with despair because I was so hungry, so thirsty. For millions of lifetimes, I've longed to see you, but didn't know where to look. Yet, I've always felt your presence with a mysterious certainty. I know that for thousands of lifetimes, you and I have been one, and the distance between us is only a flash of thought. Just yesterday while walking alone, I saw the old path strewn with Autumn leaves, and the brilliant moon, hanging over the gate, suddenly appeared like the image of an old friend. And all the stars confirmed that you were there! All night, the rain of compassion continued to fall, while lightning flashed through my window and a great storm arose, as if Earth and Sky were in battle. Finally in me the rain stopped, the clouds parted. The moon returned, shining peacefully, calming Earth and Sky. Looking into the mirror of the moon, suddenly I saw myself, and I saw you smiling, Blessed One. How strange! The moon of freedom has returned to me, everything I thought I had lost. From that moment on, and in each moment that followed, I saw that nothing had gone. There is nothing that should be restored. Every flower, every stone, and every leaf recognize me. Wherever I turn, I see you smiling the smile of no-birth and no-death. The smile I received while looking at the mirror of the moon. I see you sitting there, solid as Mount Meru, calm as my own breath, sitting as though no raging fire storm ever occurred, sitting in complete peace and freedom. At last I have found you, Blessed One, and I have found myself. There I sit. The deep blue sky, the snow-capped mountains painted against the horizon, and the shining red sun sing with joy. You, Blessed One, are my first love. The love that is always present, always pure, and freshly new. And I shall never need a love that will be called "last." You are the source of well-being flowing through numberless troubled lives, the water from your spiritual stream always pure, as it was in the beginning. You are the source of peace, solidity, and inner freedom. You are the Buddha, the Tathagata. With my one-pointed mind I vow to nourish your solidity and freedom in myself so I can offer solidity and freedom to countless others, now and forever.

poem kmg

Wrapped in the branches
They wind around me and a bouquet of wisteria shawdows the bench, the landing 
whose colors bring their own light

Leaves falling , falling, the birds wait their turn to pass
 They  sing the winds song
 whose colors 
warm my heart 

Post

I was suppose to be at the benedictine monastery but i would not leave this week
it seems things that were once settled are not completely unsettled again
and i hear
god god
give me more pain so i can be closer to you

i lay down to thy will, for nothing is happening today
that isnt in you

This morning as I enter silence I enter with the monastery is a odd sort of 
way......as it just floats in how now would begin the first sit. With god on 
those holy mountains .....

May I be blessed with openness and goodness in the hospital today that I 
share.......may life be but today-

Post

Morning-
  Heavy breathe filled with hope and I sleep with the monks singing in my ears  
I un robe  and bring but Christ sword and shield for their wil be done-

Sufficient for the day are its own troubles- may I shine light on them for 
others and find my cup filled in the emptying.......

My prose

A psalmist is a singer of the psalms
Bless me with the words
Bless me with song

I sing song of mary tune

Christs will
Christs will

I feel reborn in christ today
Christs will 
Christ will
Let there be joy in christs will today

"
And it sings on, cause its just song and I sing and I love and I'm grateful !

Prose not my own

The atmosphere in the room was transformed. In the man's fury we had experienced 
our own furies; we had seen the world as through a bomb bay. In Nhat Hanh's 
response we had experienced an alternate possibility: the possibility  of 
overcoming hatred with love, of breaking the seemingly endless chain reaction of 
violence throughout human history.