Reflection 2012

And I can't see the sunrise
In the snow storm
The clouds seem to descend ontop of the trees

They are so close a part of the ground you think they don't want to give up the 
snow it has shaken to itself....thew winds bring some back....

And all around me changes, 
As the weather
As I slide into envirnoments I am blessed to see their  extremes, not so 
different then those within others
That are as uncontrollable to me as the winds of changing time....and till be

And still I am grounded,
In the mornings
In the unwavering
All knowing
Confidence and connection
That I am

As I lay myself down, (I say this a lot now) lay myself down....means I care 
less to hold on to anything I think and know a greater path is in the letting 
go...which is also as much being here as the staying

I am grateful today to be called to this window seat, to be pulled so to tilt my 
head ever upwards and find emotion , find words, find the pool of my  
heart......

dr. Suess

my very many colored days

Some days are yellow.
Some are blue.
On different days I'm different too.
You'd be surprised how many ways
I change on Different Colored Days.
On Bright Red Days how good it feels
to be a horse and kick my heels!
On other days I'm other things.
On Bright Blue Days I flap my wings.
Some days, of course, feel sort of Brown.
Then I feel slow and low, low down.
Then comes a Yellow Day and Wheeee
I am a busy, buzzy bee.
Gray Day....Everything is gray. I watch. But nothing moves today.
Then all of a sudden I'm a circus seal! On my Orange Days that's how I feel.
Green Days. Deep deep in the sea. Cool and quite fish. That's me.
On Purple Days I'm sad. I groan. I drag my tail. I walk alone.
But when my days are Happy Pink it's great to jump and just not think.
Then come my Black Days. MAD. And loud. I howl. I growl at every cloud.
Then comes a Mixed-Up Day. And WHAM! I don't know who or what I am!
But it all turns out all right, you see. And I go back to being...me.

birthday reflection

Pitch black night
Comes to an end
Electricity out
Plans had to bend

No dinner-- ovens not working
Reflections light in the room
Snuggled up with three
No end of world practices for me.....

Beautiful roses
Everywhere red and white
Where there is no color
The flicker candle, shines their light

Got a muffin
With too many candles
Don't feel older
Just wiser and bolder

Reflection -Grief

A reflection...


I am a child in awe of the beauty in every morning. I am  filled with wonder, 
bewildered, as I write words that come thru me and read them back again , as 
mine....

My words are without knowledge...
I can not have understanding of the wonders of earth the wonders of god..., I 
know only where my  heart
Takes me and I will let it lead me to the greenest grass,,  the lightest 
existance, for I need for nothing I have to fight for or against....
What I have is mine, what has been taken from me is mine too.

"Have the gates of death been revealed  to u, have u comprehended the breathe of 
the earth...I know this not.
, 
Where is the way to the dwelling of life, darkness, where is its place,
I do not know.not only because the number of my days is not  great but it is not 
given to me to know this. It is not in my purlieu......has the rain a father, 
who has begotten the drops of dew, the frost of heaven, who gives it birth...can 
u lift up ur voice to the clouds that an abundance of water may come, who has 
put wisdom in the mind or who has given understanding to the heart...

These are big questions that can not scale the next to the why's of pain and 
suffering...., 
so little am I to consider to know , I have more to still to come to me....and I 
will not make them my own..I will find what I can hold onto that will make be 
stronger, more full then at loss..

..It is for my conscience to guide my hand, my deed to create myself for there 
is too much I am not given to know....

I receive the gift of creation. I create with a paintbrush of abundance with the 
rainbow colors of love....

Included in that love, is every part of me here or above...in shadow and in 
heart


Karen gruber 2012

joyful joyful morning song of praise with words

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up6KRUG4D8Q

morning vespers

I listen to the book of job
This morning....very early and
I wake up to god saying....can you know....and I listen....I take it as a beconning into silence so I cover my head and head to the fireplace...
I know sunrise should have come a long time ago......

And as I enter my heart I feel the nothing that I can know, and that in each day there is a present moment to share love, to be in the moment, as sometimes its easier than others....what unfolds around me, I can not know,

I stand in a smile, conscious
  speach, purity of heart....

Thomas keating says " I am sure jesus didn't incarnate and die just so we can go to heaven....

--.what are the works that he teaches...sometimes I think that eating the flesh and drinking the blood is like eating the words that he teaches and that  prayer and holy scriptures digest into a  holy spirit  forcefield that ,
If we are lucky, is natura£ly feed by god as he drawns you...

Beautiful.......

prose kmg 2012

And approaching darkness
I carry along with me the
Light of the beauty of the day
The offerings to come
The excitment and joy

They catch on fire
Need to be known only to me
Need to be done
Because they are, and not wanted... Or received...
Because they feed me in the doing

I pray spirits guide me through the dark halls of night, guide me safely in life 
past sorrow, stear me from fear and anger...let me always know the reason for my 
becoming...let me hear what gods hear, see what god sees, when the sun is not in 
the sky,let even a small light shine to steer me til sunrise when I can stand 
only in light, bathe in light, be clothed in ur  words of comfort...be held
By my own fullness from within received in every sunrise I am blessed to awake 
in

Let my spirit be stronger tommorow then it was today,  more peaceful. My mind 
more fertile, my hands more gentle., 

Let not me recognize how alone I am in this bed, while I am surrounded by so 
many, truly I strive to carry the load without noticing its burden....truly I 
strive to be less of myself, giving what I have for others to be more

karen 2012

Prayer kmg 2012

Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight.....

Today blind me from any story I know, we are all your children and here to be loved

Today make me anew in your sight
And draw me towards the work I need do,

Today I pray, for compassion
Let me, touch,
Be exceeding glad
Let me heal

Kabir

Robert Bly....translating Kabir...

""The idea that the soul will join with the ecstatic just because the body is 
rotten--that is all fantasy...what is found now is found then, if you find 
nothing now, you will simply end up with an apartment in the city of death. If 
you make love with the divine now, in the next life you will have the face of 
satisfied desire..

When the guest is being search for, it is the intensity of the longing that does 
all the work....look at me, and you will see a slave of that intensity."

Written by Kabir in a book about men...Prose...

reflection 2012

Do we change
Do we awaken
Do we age
Do we open

How in these questions, do we sustain the present moment 
Where all of life exists...

And life, as we have manifested
Created, all gifts, already received. Still receiving, 

How
Do we remain hungry for the same meal, even after it becomes left over, 

The grapes of my youth thrown into the a glass and smashed together with 
anothers,  while left behind are those which have fermented  to a bountiful 
beauty, don't mix well wiith the same course...

And how beautiful to have such richness to offer, to want satefy in solitude,to 
want to lift another to their fullest potential , the love I radiate in even 
being on such a journey, the child like energy of life to behold......

Isn't this the beauty? 

So I ask, what does it take to clear the table....
»»»kmg»»»

rainy now school day 2012

And what about the mornings
When we can't see the sun rise

Does nature have even metaphors for us, thru its washing of the earth

Is it, too, washing over us, days that can be full of the sunrise that must 
shine from within ?

The green is definately greener and the air to breathe, coated with the 
thickness of life ,
the moisture  of love....

Angels sleep in this house...their bodies figting all day ....

Isn't it the dance of pain and turmoil patience and fortitude

As I wake this morning,  I think of all my friends, I see all of your faces and 
I know the tales of all of your day just past, and I don't but. I  do.........

Bring all that is grateful, when you read my words, to the top  of this 
moment....and have a great (no school) day !

grief--- nouwen

It might sound strange to consider grief as a way to compassion. But
it is. Grief asks me to allow the sins of the world -- my own included
-- to pierce my heart and make me shed tears, many tears, for them.
There is no compassion without many tears.

When I consider the immense waywardness of God's children, our lust,
our greed, our violence, our anger, our resentment, and when I look at
them through the eyes of God's heart, I cannot but weep and cry out in
grief.

This grieving is praying. There are so few mourners left in this
world. But grief is the discipline of the heart that sees the sin of
the world, and knows itself to be the sorrowful price of freedom
without which love cannot bloom.

I am beginning to see that much of praying is grieving. This grief is
so deep not just because the human sin is so great, but also -- and
more so -- because the divine love is so boundless.


Nouwen

birthday song 2012

"These are a few of my favorite things"

Wave .....up and down...

Who would have thought
Here at this table
Would be so many people
Who made this moment able

Wave talking.....

For without each of u in my life
I would not  be  the same
So when u hear  this song
Think of no shame

Wave up and down.....

Quite clearly you weren't roddy girlfriend by the pool
poor guy, how he lost me, he was  such a british tool,
But how glorious a meeting and
We became fast friends
Your fun and your delightful
Sandras party never ends......

Wave up and down....

Now ashley , my horseridder, my olympian treat,
You and I we were certainly destined  to meet, 
It was  town school, in kindergarten, you were too busy for a friend
But you knew you could call on me and a hand I would  lend....

Wave up and down.....

You always shared a smile
We always have a laugh
Fun lunches, and renovations and 
Townhouse tasks..

Wave up.......

Our trip to canyon ranch
Was the best time of all
From strength tests, to
Starvation
We certainly had a ball...

Wave up and down......

Sea island  watermelon shoots, and nyc rockettes, to suburban halloween balls, 
Either that or at u at  river dale 
Hanging in the stalls

Wave up......


You make me smile and I lov u so
And well laugh again about  tonight
At next weeks frette show !!

Wave up and down....

Now emma and winthrop
Will marry one day
As they said after 
they sew their oats
In their own special ways

Wave up....

So you'll be his  mother in law
How fun
What a very happy treat
I am ready for 
the front row seat !!!

Wave up and down....

Now ashley coundnt make 
And I joked just to celeste
If kathy seems so great
Let's invite her to the fest

We laughed in our hearts
Cause we both love you so
And were there by your side
In our spirits you know...

I want to to thank u and georgia
For trying ur best
To get my only girl into spence
So sorry, with 5 brother, she really had no choice
and I can't see wearing that uniform dress....

I spoke just to alan and it brought back the days
At my family fued parties
The games that we played
And alan how happy
To be at the ball
You my friend, asking every question max did call....



when my oldest left town school
My youngest started nursery  4's
My last  class of moms
Without drop off at the doors
So who did I hang with and 
Enjoying seeing every day
My two west siders
Whose boys always wanted to play

Wave up......

What a year in the park
The playground from hell
Let's add up the other mothers
Who came over at us
To yell

Wave up and down....

And the same gift of freedom we give to our kids
We hold in eachother
We hold open our lids

Wave up and down.....

The camping trip was amazing
The rafting the best
I'm so glad we finally found
80 west
Creating a fire
I read u ...my prayers
We let the boys be pyros
And went to bed without any cares

Wave talking.......

So your boyfriend owns a football team who won the superbowl
And u didn't say a peek about
About balancing it all.....

You shared with me your self and
Your  love and your joy
You shared with me your two girls journeys  and your one special boy....

Wave up.....

And how we grown up
Taylor off to college
13 years ago on the beach
And at viva fortuna
A month on  an island
Painkillers is all we did seek...

Wave up......

And in the hospital
With your god son
Every moment by my side
How am I so lucky
To have ur  friendship
Your faith, love and ur pride....

Wave up...........

And we celebrate at the rivington
Again I was singing to only u

At the twins bar mitzvah
When they were born at the hospital
I was there with you too...

Wave up and down.....

And now park avenue christian
U both were already there
I walked down the hallways
With my new mothers flair

Not before long 
I was chairen the board
Couldn't have done it without u
U were my sheilds  and my sword

Wave up and down.....

Georgia, I cried with you
 in my faith 
Shared ur 50th in my massage room
U hold a very special place

And long after I'm gone, celeste will interceed, executing my money to all those 
in need.......

Wave up talking.....

That leaves cara
My downtown cara
Who just
 Adopted a boy
Not a baby
But a young man
 This bring me so much joy

And the trials
And the challenges
U have in ur mist
At friends academy
In a burnt apartment
What elses on the list ?

Wave talking....

I tried to sing this to matthew
Of course what did he say
Karen , its just too long
Why waste ur time
No one wants to hear it anyway !

Haha I say who cares
I sing it for me
Cause 
As many times as ill sing
Is as happy as ill be

And raise ur glasses and toast to
A successful birthday night
I love you all so much
Now let's go home and sleep tight !

kmg 2012

It  is I
I am as joyful as a stone
It is not the joy of men I feel
It is the joy of matter, I am prescence, I am of the world
I am magic..the power shivers from my heart down my arms...Self- sacrifice is 
the only learning to make ones self holy, to be the sum of a man, more than its 
parts. 

These breaths I release to the wind. Make me one with the wind. This blood flows 
back to the river like water...when the light in my eyes flickers out, the spark 
flies back to the flaming hearts of god...

I am air and flame, I am heat burning mist, I am power, an ancient river 
overflowing.

I am love and memory and sorrow drift away.

My time is a reflection on the surface of the water. A leaf falls and the dream 
shatters...slowly the waters calm and draw themselves together....and the leafs 
life, like a thought passes from me on the ripples of its own vibration...it 
enters the world

I am a holy spirit, NOT because I am so wise, but because I am a temple of god, 
I am a priest of the heart. I know what is mine to feel. I let rain from heaven 
fill me. I give love away as easily as water....

I long for nothing but to live as light within, to enter gods heart singings a 
song.....well .....maybe I long for more.....

I long to chase someone down the slope I want to catch,
I long to share the ride to vermont and fall asleep in the lap of love,

I long to make a fire and be so warmed that I run to see the stars
Glowing without needing a coat...
I long to share my birthday
Over candlelight and have those
Same candles light the way to the
Mid mountain ski house where I undress to bearable limits and move with the 
motion of the wind of the night....

Today, I long......


Kmg 2012

prayer-kmg 2012

There is music in heaven
Angels who sing
They prayer unceasingly in song
For all the world

Their wings , uplifted in movement that keeps them floating as they inhale 
prayers and exhault love....

They gather in the great song and they shine thru the light of the sun

I await the sunrise as a flower awaits the rain

I yearn to be  quenched,
With joy that I can not know eithout you,        of lord come to my 
assistance.....

I breathe to expand in the awaiting
And I say abba come 

I say thank you for being always
There for my calling...bring me the sick, bring me the suffering, and I spark in 
them you. Thru me

I prayer to know such peace , to be such an instrument of healing, to be used by 
you

Thru song now
hear my prayers 

prayer-kmg 2012

Prayer

Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart, be acceptable in thy 
sight.....

Today blind me from any story I know, we are all your children and here to be 
loved

Today make me anew in your sight
And draw me towards the work I need do,

Today I pray, for compassion
Let me, touch, 
Be exceeding glad
Let me heal 


Amen.

night time vespers kmg 2012

And now as night brings eyes to close
From silence comes thru me, evening prose,
and this day I did make last
The time that rests now in past

And in sleep, lord, know with suns rise,
I will awake and seek your eyes
That I can know and I can see
And be all that I can be !

So as I line up your sacred prayers
And lay my head down to end this night
Bless all those to wake in your light
And with peace so they sleep tight !

on children

I am 
I am flowing always rain
I become the backdripping of their
Life, so they can live

I am giving, not with my hand
But with my heart
I am here
A staple
A brick
One that can be picked up
And know it will return to the same place, even if dropped,
I am whole

I am rooted into the ground
Which is connected with heaven
For I walk both on heaven and earth
As I walk as much in my heart
As I step forward
Backwards is already past
I turn your head ever forward
To grow
To experience what isn't mine to know

I am mother
To myself first
So I can mother you
I am love born each time
I feel your rebirth
In wisdom. In pain, in 
Life you hurdle over
Striving ever forward...

I am here for you...

-k

an angel- u tube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAmQ6OixFyo&NR=1&feature=endscreen

REFLECTION FROM COLORADO 2012

I'm swinging on the hammock, sounds of the passing floods,streaming from the 
mountain tops, all in 
concinnity.

The women are beautiful here, every cart in whole foods was pushed by someone 
who knows nature intimately, the lines in their faces carry themselves as folds 
on the  tinted skin of one who looks at the sun....

The men, who pushed my cart to my car from the liquor store and insisted on 
carried my bags into the back seat....looked like the same characters u might 
see singing margaritiville in key biscayne if they traded their jeans and hokey  
belt buckles for hawaiian shirts. 

And I made a big sigh at the curbside of an town bissault, colorado and a 
driverby rolled down the window to note "that was a big sigh" I was quite 
speachless thrown off guard at the silence after and no asking of directions to 
follow........

So peaceful on this hammock by the water, the evergreens, spruce, cypress and 
pine all mixed together into one form..undoubtably here as witness to all who 
have swung before and all will swing long after I'm gone !!!

metaphor for life

I am like a tree, rooted in great furtile soil...the life forces within the 
great lite and love and my staying always grounded in my heart allow for the 
trunk  of the to grow ever so fast waterring with the waters of everlasting 
life,

So an ax slices into the bark every now and then, fast enough it has grown to a 
place that sprouts branches and bears good fruit 

waves karen 2012

For me the sunrise is ahead
Its at eye level, I look forward to it
Yes even closer
I watch the waves pull back and wonder to the wave is the sunrise ahead,
For when the water pulls  back
The sheen that the sand reflects for me is. , the sunlight, the color,
Just for a moment, you catch it until the next wave comes
And u move your glance to the horizon.........

Its a dance of how to be the wave, who floats on the waters of life......

I am that wave
I receive the light of love
And I will share grandly !!!!

naked love-kmg 2012

Can you hold the beauty I see
Can you look into the sun
Beyond the cloud
And see it clapping and crying

Can your eyes return to the mountain
And reflect color in the snow

Can you hold the light
Of my divine feminine energy
And say god is love

Can you see the beauty in my eyes
And feel into the depths of my soul
As it greets yours

Can you hold me as if we were one
Being 
And fill me the same

Can you sit naked,under the stars,
And feel the wind sweep you away above the clouds to sleep with angels...

Can you close your eyes
Can you hold the beauty I see

Kmg 2012

night time vespers

To you, as daylight fades away
Creator of the world we pray

Your gentle breathe  from above
Renew in us the fire of love
And may your glory drive away
All darkness to eternal day

As night draws near, be in our hearts
While holy peace your grace imparts
Then with the new days light may we
Give thanks to you
Unceasingly !