"""How easily the words are gifted and yet their action requires discipline which isn't a strength from the heart... I am not sure somehow I send the message to my kids 'ur not good enough" and I wonder if thats the message I grew up hearing so subliminally it's the one I parent in... but in that perspective it's easier for teenagers to 'zone out' where they can waste many hours of time being 'successful' behind a game that's meant to booster and engage them instead of personal contact- where they need to be seen and self judge the already predisposition they enter the situations with. "Am I enough". The long game would be that the message they take intro the world is to prove that they are--- and I pray they also soften to be loved thought it all... that's the work of parenting teenagers today for me. Recognizing, respecting, reconciling, and unconditionally loving...it all-- """

And she writes of her grief experience and I share it here:::

In my gried, ....

The world falls silently to their knees.

“Grief…” she begins, then continues.

“Grief hits you in the heart as hard as love. A real love, a love that shows up and grabs your entire spirit and drags you over mountains and rivers into the abyss of time. Grief numbs you. It makes you wish you were not alive.

It will make you—for the first time in your life—look forward to the day you die, so you may hold hands—that are not ice cold and unmoving—with the man you love.

Grief leaves you lying on the ground all night. It steps over your pathetic body and tells you that this will last for all of time.

It will sit watching you as you wail, while a new crack in your heart breaks. It will be lying beside you when you wake up in the morning and for a second, forget that he is dead.

And then you do remember and you stare bleakly out the window, angry at the sunshine and bitter at the rain.

Grief is a labyrinth, a puzzle you cannot solve, a dream you cannot awaken from.

Grief tears your power from under your nose and leaves you lifeless and alone. It leaves you sitting at one in morning with a reel of memories. Grief is salty tears that may never stop falling.

When you don’t cry you will look up and hope no one’s watching.

Some days, you will resent the lack of tears; you will look into a mirror and see swollen eyes from a night of screaming and crying and see the death in your own body.

When we grieve, we are dying.

People occupy part of our souls, our hearts and our spirits. When they die, part of us dies with it.

Grief will disassociate you, make you stare at the outside world, as if you’re in a box.

With a puzzled face, you will look out at the people grocery shopping, laughing, arguing, loving and doing these things with complete disconnection.

For what?

Why?

Grief will tear away the moments of normality that creep in.

It will guilt you for the joy and the laughs that feel like china breaking as they exit your heart.

“Joy, that’s what you are,” your heart will whisper.

Grief weakens, softens and strengthens us.

It reminds us to touch this fragile world with our whole hearts.

It reminds us to live, after we have died a little first.”

The morning sunrise washing everything from me and and I begin anew. Even when I don't look at the sunrise but I wake with the love of the fresh new day in my heart it's the same. It's all love and out of the head of story---

I implore u to share the depths of the love you want to receive in giving- for I hear the beauty of ur words coupled with an unknowing---- what can we know but what our intentions build as bridges with bricks of prayers and hope... and even too that can be exploded in an instant with sickness or tragedy... be the love you so desire and one day u will find urself warmed in the coat of its making.... -k

And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain.
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen,
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears

When I stare at the sunrise there is a blinding oh how beautiful to have the light follow me into all I see, it blinds everything and anything with this light which Is grafted onto my sight and within that light and this blinding I can see what I am not given to see and it's all beauty‎, blessed be this day- and all who share this prayer of this morning.

John 20

‎ "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

"

And I think of the chef who attends to his cutting board of vegetables and speaks of the soup u will taste. Can u believe there will be soup coming to feed you.... and so it is with the world.

Can u not hear the birds....i can't see then but they sing the song of praise, the morning of glory which will soon unfold, and we not know where the‎ sunrise just shined it's light, on another part of the world, but it is soon coming to break fast of the night, and can we not believe in such a light and what will it break light on, the mountains, the trees, the soul within all beings, feeding spirit of gods creation. Oh and the rains.... they fall on those who can feel them and on the lands where no one can attest to

Matthew 5 He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.‎

Oh lord my savior, my God, I close my eyes to know u, I close my mind to hear u I open my senses to feel you and I empty to be filled by you, let the light of this day be you in me where you are. Always... 

Amen

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love.”
  Galatians 5:22

Prayer
  Father, there is a good reason that love is at the top of the list of the fruit of the Spirit.  Because when our love is right, everything else has the greatest potential to fall into place.  Help us to get caught up in Your love for us.  The more we know You and Your love for us, the more that love begins to fill our being until we become like You.  Amen     
 

The mass- the ritual of the eucharist_ - is a hunbling reminder that that we can share in christ thru body and blood and kneel before such gifts with our sisters and brothers of the church- when I am most present at mass how can I not allow a tear to fall for all the forgiveness and all the rebirth in such a ritual--- the mass---- daily bread, manna from heaven- k

Follow after charity and desire spiritual gifts but rather thy may prophesy

For he that speaketh in an unknown toungue speketh not unto men but unto God for no man understandeth him...howbeit in the spirit he speaketh mysteries. 1 corinthians 14

My tongue speketh not mysteries for the spirit sing the mysteries of love, the heart expanding with love which words can not speketh as I speketh to you this love in spirit...in the silence of my heart which words can not find I speketh my praise, to the glory of God I speketh in the spirit.
Amen-kmg

Prayer
  Sovereign Lord, sometimes You ask us to do things for You that appear foolish to the world, but we know that we are never fools in Your eyes for following Your will.  Give us a mindset that only cares about what You think of us and not what the world thinks of us.  In the end, only your opinion will matter.   
Amen  

II enter prayer

Deep breathe pull me into a heart of emotion

Unshed tears sigh the depths of my heart

Of the love I feel for this beautiful grateful life I walk thru

Let this walk be only in ur light

As I open my heart

I open my eyes

Let me see only the heart's of u within and in praise and love let this walk in your light be free from the troubles and sufferings of this world and let me offer that freedom thru your blessed touch of words and healing

Let me be an angel of grace

Not of this world, but of you, my lord

In christ name and will I pray

Amen

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” 
Psalm 139:13

Prayer
  Father, we are not the result of an accident but we were planned and created by You.  We are each special and unique creations, each of us a masterpiece.  Let us treat ourselves and each other, as You see us, as Your beloved children. 
Amen

Gibran

And an astronomer said, Master, what of Time? And the Prophet answered:You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable. You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons. Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing.  Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness, and knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream. And that that which sings and contemplates in you is still dwelling within the bounds of that first moment which scattered the stars into space. Who among you does not feel that his power to love is boundless? And yet who does not feel that very love, though boundless, encompassed within the centre of his being, and moving not from love thought to love thought, nor from love deeds to other love deeds? And is not time even as love is, undivided and paceless? But in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons. And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.

Kmg

God is hiding in the world and our task is to let the divine emerge from our deeds.

Heschel 

Grand is the home which I truly live in, within, floating around my floor and deck - up and down the stairs, airy flights move legs forward to see them same in flight up and down again,

Time slips so easily into clarity, calm, efficiency, and a pace not yet measured by a word -

Home- the  self god full retreat, blessed it be, is- offers to -the walls have become a haven, a heaven and have created a livelihood which feeds more than the soul in warmth, but also the human needs, in prosperity, and I am ever so grateful.

Grand is the home who sing praise besides a steeple whose bell rings thru the heart's in this home who chime together the song of love, ding dong..... grand is the home.....

Slowly the west reaches for clothes of new colours
which it passes to a row of ancient trees.
You look, and soon these two worlds both leave you,
one part climbs toward heaven, one sinks to earth,

leaving you, not really belonging to either,
not so helplessly dark as that house that is silent,
not so unswervingly given to the eternal as that thing
that turns to a star each night and climbs –-

leaving you (it is impossible to untangle the threads)
your own life, timid and standing high and growing,‎
so that, sometimes blocked in, sometimes reaching out,
one moment your life is a stone in you, and the next, a star.‎Rilke

... and always I return to my prayer table---- happy, sad, tired, afraid, satiated, wanting and here I am... I lay down it all to the unknown and always there is a welcoming, a grandeur of peace and a energy of love.... I'm grateful this morning to return home with a working knee, a giving heart and deep loving eyes of joy--- amen

... and always I return to my prayer table---- happy, sad, tired, afraid, satiated, wanting and here I am... I lay down it all to the unknown and always there is a welcoming, a grandeur of peace and a energy of love.... I'm grateful this morning to return home with a working knee, a giving heart and deep loving eyes of joy--- amen

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be." - Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) American Psychologist

My life is my prayer
My time is but a reflection of the green of this grass, the blue of the sky the ebb and flow of the wind that brushes off thru the leaves of the branches high and low... my time is the clarity of the beauty I am led into each new day... I sing to u, I pray to you, I reach into the pain of the blessed virgin mother to see her son on the cross, is for me to know that within me is human who can put god on the cross, but I choose christ here and now, I choose what I can not see but I can know.

  Father, the depth of our relationship with You is up to us.  You never move one inch from us, but we have a tendency to move miles from You.  We ask that You continually give us the desire to spend time with You, talking and listening just like we do in our other relationships.  Give us the desire to know You more.  Amen   

My second born son is reaching his own greatness in study and contemplation-- im proud to record his greatness

Aristotle describes the Great-Souled Man as “the best human being”. For if we aspire to reach this goal of greatness we must first attain the knowledge of who a Great-Souled Man is. To Aristotle, the Great-Souled Man is the peak of virtue, and virtue requires knowledge. Therefore, in order to pursue our potential greatness we must analyze Aristotle’s characterization of the Great-Souled Man in his Nichomachean Ethics.

The Great-Souled Man is the goal for one pursuing the good and happiness in life. Aristotle explains happiness as being the highest end in a human life. Furthermore, It is being virtuous and training ourselves by means of habit that we will build within us a virtuous active condition that will lead to happiness. “We set down that the work of a human being is a certain sort of life, while this life consists of being at work of the soul and actions go along with reason, and it belongs to a man of serious stature to do these things well and beautifully,” The “being at work” (Energeia) described here is the activity that goes on in all of our souls every second. It is how we respond and react to the world around us. For if we train ourselves by habit (Ethos) to act with mean virtue we will build a great active condition (Hexis). These two words depend upon each other. As practicing virtuous habits is having a being at work in the soul that will condition us into having a great active condition. The world beautifully here (To Kalon) could also be translated as noble and brings in a societal aspect to great-soulness as
The word serious here (spoudaios) is similar to the word for virtue (αρετή) as it can also be translated as excellence. To Aristotle, the concepts of ethics and morals, the way a human being behaves, aim towards greatness. To be Great-Souled one must aim at perfection of the self.
Oliver