There is no perfect
There is only struggle
Who do u  want to struggle besides
Some  one who believes in u
Someone u love
Someone who loves u
Someone who has a sense of adventure
And is grounded in life- love- being- faith
Someone who will care for u when u are sick
Someone u want to care for for no ot reason
Then it feel better than caring for urself or the same

I light the sage stick and wave

It around the room. Vine I collected under the big

Blue sky in Montana, a morning when life was a morning due in a sage field along a rumbling river

So the rumbling now. Can't I believe it's good for me, and as a grief chaplain don't I ask for greater faith...

And what is greater faith. I am reaching for an answer of fully present in the heart in the moment, loss of control of others and the day......the day can only be about love.... christ guide me to your internal wisdom to know only you. To drink of this wine of everlasting waters, to eat the gospel of he bread of life......loving this moment...this bird song outside my window... this breathe-  

Let it be so...‎

Amen‎

From a sharing--, in that momenbt at the ghats. Arrivals and departures, removals of bodies while the death light of the spirit smokes the air in a dance 

Go wondrous creature! mount where science guides,
Go, measure earth, weigh air, and state the tides;
Instruct the planets in what orbs to run,
Correct old time, and regulate the sun;
Go, soar with Plato to th' empyreal sphere,
To the first good, first perfect, and first fair;
Or tread the mazy round his follow'rs trod,
And quitting sense call imitating God;
As Eastern priests in giddy circles run,
And turn their heads to imitate the sun.
Go, teach Eternal Wisdom how to rule—
Then drop into thyself, and be a fool!

Superior beings, when of late they saw
A mortal Man unfold all Nature's law,
Admir'd such wisdom in an earthly shape,
And showed a Newton as we shew an Ape.

Could he, whose rules the rapid comet bind,
Describe or fix one movement of his mind?
Who saw its fires here rise, and there descend,
Explain his own beginning, or his end?

Alexander Pope, Essay On Man

>
> Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations?
> Speak if you have understanding ...
> Who closed the sea behind doors
> When it gushed forth out of the womb? ...
> Have you ever commanded the day to break,
> Assigned the dawn its place? ...
> Have you penetrated to the sources of the sea? ...
> Have you penetrated the vaults of snow?
> By what path is the west wind dispersed,
> The east wind scattered over the earth? ...
> Can you tie cords to Pleiades
> Or undo the reins of Orion?...
> Who is wise enough to give an account of the heavens?
> Who can tilt the bottles of the sky,
> Whereupon the earth melts into a mass,
> And its clods stick together?
>
>
> Job 38:4-38
>
>

Maybe the loss is a great remembering. A remembering of how what they leave behind somehow, in this moment is recognized.. once again connecting something for you, their gifts, in a way that will keep it a remembering.... funny how death calls so many upon the spirit as if it send off a new way for it to be, a shift we all take part in. Including those left behind.....

Self aware or blessing of insight

Awareness- is it thought- maybe 

Some thoughts bring gift

Light

I am all too familiar with those that bring darkness

Distration

So darkness and distraction are friends

Doesn't surprise me

They are my friends too, for I must welcome them

In their awareness that they have arrived

Guests in the house who I treat as guests

Cause I knew they were coming

Oh grateful god who keeps me humble and in my heart

Keep me here always, 

Amen

on multiple personalities

Pondering how wonderful to have more than one personality- being- self and how cruel to love in a society that labels them,. As even dual sounds like a form of phychosis and therefore territorial in the‎ arena of judgement- or in the realm of higher-lower -better-worse...

And what if a blessin, to be able to express whole and complete patterns of socialization in different ways

Surely a genius-

I ponder that the receiver should be able to enjoy all these personalities- I ponder if the giver ever really feels complete if he needs all the personalities to be loved at the same time not knowing if they are all present at the same time ever.

Hmmmm