prose

I silence and read today- nouwen- I read a story about a monk- I read another about mother theresa

All of them are about quieting and I hear spend time with the lord- in thankful, in grateful and the tears they come..... not for all I am and not for all I am not for all I feel unworthy in such prescense that I bow and sing someone to quiet my lip......and somehow I like that it can quiver because it feels like a rebirth

A rebirth in spirit, Jesus says in matthew 26 and our father is wanting so much for us to pray to him in spirit..... and I open my arms and say call unto me, I am here.........

Amen

PROSE

Might write my thesis paper due on 16th on 

"God speaks through a question that reveals the unspeakable mystery of eternal love- one seeking 

 spiritual support  in time of medical need hospital chaplains firstmost offer the presence to  affirm the search" 

prose

Snow gently swaddles the earth and the sun will rise on the white clean land....

Lov fills my heart as I too become cleansed in thought, or no thought....

The cold air keeps me in the covers, breathing the hair of a little boy edging onward to become the men that roam around these walls some days.....will return today, briefly, as they are their own now and I love them the ways I can......

My period reminds me of the life giving force I am and it also reminds me of the transitions taking plqce as chapters and books measuyre me in stories ui don't even know if I can tell but can be read in the depth of my love I can give, the sadness I can feel, the silence I can substain.........

Dear lord, show me the way for I am not worthy that you should come under my roof but only say the word and my soul shall be healed....

Amen

POST

I wonder for a moment if the suffering of Jesus and his life on earth including his always being in the doing- in example, my heart opens to theresa of lisieux sharing a story of our lord, sleepin on the boat, the winds, fear, and he is woken.....the man tapping on his shoulder that his son has a fever and he must come look he doesn't always even have to be in the doing, and yet he must show his miracles, it's part of us being able to hear this message....be in love, love thy neighbor as thyself, ‎ drink from me. My words and I will give u peave, take my york upon me,  mary and martha, are the chance for Jesus to speak on the good and the good, and sometimes the better good....

Do we let more in when we give more up of what we think is the better good

I cry into prayer. In mercy.

WAITING IN PRAYER

I sit in prayer and wait for silence to pray in me, like a coming to the banquet it isn't always easy- and yet it's the mystery. Making time for the mysteries of life which I can't organize or understand......

SONG

Where have all the good men gone
and where are all the gods?
Where's the
streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a
fiery steed?
Late at night I toss
and I turn
and I dream of what I need.
I
need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night.
He's gotta
be strong
and he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight.
I
need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light.
He's gotta be
sure
and it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life!

Somewhere
after midnight
in my wildest fantasy

Somewhere just beyond my reach
there's
someone reaching back for me.
Racing on the thunder and rising with the
heat

It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet.
I need a hero. I'm
holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night.
He's gotta be strong
and
he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight.
I need a hero.
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light.
He's gotta be sure
and it's
gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life.
I need a hero. I'm holding
out for a hero 'til the end of the night.
Up where the mountains meet the
heavens above

Out where the lightning splits the sea

I could swear there
is someone
somewhere
watching me.
Through the wind
and the chill
and the
rain

And the storm
and the flood

I can feel his approach like a fire in
my blood.
I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the
night.
He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh
from the fight.

post

Whoever cares to do his best
Should look for what may still be gained
Not
what already is obtained
And he will see the higher crest
And so to reach the
utmost peak
I always  shall be moved to go
Largely to something I don't
know
That one may come on randomly...

prayer

Morning pray -thoughts-

I love the way father baron shares how so many
parts of the bible are words jesus is speaking that can only be timeless as they
are not literal. So many are their own paradoxes leaving choices for each soul,
belonging to god, to find the way it can sparkle....


“Anyone who chooses to
be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.”
 James 4:4

Prayer
 
You have set before us a choice: You or the world.  We cannot serve both but
only one and we choose to serve You.  Give us the wisdom to see when the world
is taking Your rightful place in our lives and the strength
to put You back as
Lord.


Today I come across this prayer and I can choose to busy myself with
my pile of mail. Worries and woes or --- this penthouse seat
Til I leave for
the hospital..... Isn't it a thirst, a calling, a yearning that writes , and
release it as  praise  ?

Who can I be as my most authentic self and my most
honest self to me, myself, sharing love, a smile, a touch. Holding  a hand,
caring, can I grasp emotion so tightly its praise ?

Amen, blessed for those
who are called to the table of the lamb, lord I praise you , have mercy!

Amen

Merton

What is the use of my complaining about not being a contemplative, if I do not
take the opportunities I get for contemplation? I suppose I take them, but in
the wrong way. I spend the time looking for something to read about
contemplation—something to satisfy my raffish spiritual appetite—instead of
shutting up and emptying my mind and leaving the inner door open for the Holy
Spirit to enter from the inside, all the doors being barred and all my blinds
down.

Merton

Post

I smile up at you and think balance.......

Need I be balancing the world, thy will be done

Let me not think of anything but Christ today as my heart, in him, is already saved is already sanctified...

Dear lord let me be you in me today- let me feel the sun shining on this grey day. I life up my heart to u, and on my knees say our father...........

Amen! 

Poem

Streaming By Hakim Sanai (1044? - 1150?) English version by Coleman Barks   When the path ignites a soul, there's no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long. The way where love tells its secret stays always in motion, and there is no you there, and no reason. The rider urges his horse to gallop, and so doing, throws himself under the flying hooves. In love-unity there's no old or new. Everything is nothing. God alone is. For lovers the phenomena-veil is very transparent, and the delicate tracings on it cannot be explained with language. Clouds burn off as the sun rises, and the love-world floods with light. But cloud-water can be obscuring, as well as useful. There is an affection that covers the glory, rather than dissolving into it. It's a subtle difference, like the change in Persian from the word "friendship" to the word "work." That happens with just a dot above or below the third letter. There is a seeing of the beauty of union that doesn't actively work for the inner conversation. Your hand and feet must move, as a stream streams, working as its Self, to get to the ocean. Then there's no more mention of the search. Being famous, or being a disgrace, who's ahead or behind, these considerations are rocks and clogged places that slow you. Be as naked as a wheat grain out of its husk and sleek as Adam. Don't ask for anything other than the presence. Don't speak of a "you" apart from That. A full container cannot be more full. Be whole, and nothing.

Lent

I give up eqyal and coffee mate for lent- I drink my coffee black, here in the penthouse wrapped in fur and morning softness-

I think of all the people I look into their eyes and I said

remember we are dust and to dust we stall return and usued myright thumb to place.a cross of ashes on their forehead.

I think of how humber I felt when they stared to pray that I would step aside the cross of christ crusified and felt like those gals mary and martha

sometimes I'm mary and sometimes I'm martha-

And christ already know the whole feelings inbetween and around that, and he still loves us and I walk in lent with my lord......

Amen

WROTE FOR MY SON TO HELP HIM HEAR WHAT I SAW IN HIM

important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

The summer of 2011 simply sports, a local not for profit sports organization asked if I would help them with their JUNE sports program for kindergarten age children who finish their NYC k programs memorial day.

Jeff bernstein, a father in the community, who has two sons attending the Dalton School left the business world and started simply sports

Simply Sports  is a non-profit organization wholly dedicated to providing Manhattan youth with supervised, fundamental learning experiences in an athletic setting at a reasonable cost.

When simply sports started up, my mother signed up anyone who could walk and throw a ball into all his programs, of course, me included.  I was just a kindergarten myself....and what a revelation to be 16 years old, watching an organization in nyc start up and be asked to return to support what was almost 50 seven and eight year Olds, coaches and captains, at Carl shultz cark, with the mayors house, just down the road.

So here I was, just out of freshman year, my first year at lawrenceville and I was coming back to new York city, for my summer, and I agreed to be a coach to these kindergarten kids just finishing their first year

‎In their new schools.

Wearing the whistle I had time, just a moment, to reflect, on giving back. What a unique opportunity I had, on this playing field, to give back to my community, to give back to just one K, who was just like me. Signed up and dragged cause their mother thought that would have fun, with no clue.....

I knew I could make a difference! And I realized I did, when the program ended and I had to learn another lesson. How to accept compliments, tips in my hand and stories of how I touched their child! 

I hope my life at cal berkeley can be a receiving and giving experience